Just Got Engaged? How to Start Planning Your Wedding

Most couples get engaged and immediately feel like they should know what to do next. They don’t — and that’s fine. Wedding planning has no obvious starting point, and the internet makes it worse by throwing venue checklists, budget spreadsheets, and supplier guides at you all at once.

I’m Dale, a documentary wedding photographer based in East Sussex. I’ve photographed over 400 weddings over the last decade, which means I’ve watched a lot of couples navigate this process — what works, what causes unnecessary stress, and what actually matters versus what just feels urgent. Here are the first five decisions, in the right order. No overwhelming checklists, no pressure to book everything at once.

Where to Start…

Most couples get engaged and immediately feel like they should know what to do next. They don’t – and that’s fine. Wedding planning has no obvious starting point, and the internet makes it worse by throwing venue checklists, budget spreadsheets, and supplier guides at you all at once.

This is a simpler approach. A handful of decisions, in the right order, from someone who’s been in the room for over 400 weddings across Sussex, Kent and London.

Decide what kind of day you actually want

Sit down with your partner and figure out what you actually want — not what your parents want, not what Instagram says a wedding should look like. Just what sounds like a good day to you both.

Big celebration with everyone you know, or something smaller and more personal? A city ceremony and a pub reception? A woodland party with camping and a fire pit?

Your wedding should feel like you. Everything else builds from this decision.

Bride getting ready at Preston Court in Kent, reflected in mirror with vintage kaleidoscope effect.

Set a rough budget

Boring, but it shapes every other decision. Start with a total number you’re both comfortable with, then divide it roughly: venue and catering take the biggest share, typically 40–50%. Photography, flowers, music and everything else fits around that. Book your non-negotiables first (see step 4).

Lock your venue and date

Most couples plan 12–18 months ahead, but there’s no single right timeline. What matters is getting this decision locked in early — venue sets the vibe, the capacity, and the date, so everything else can follow once it’s booked.

bride and bridesmaids pose with flower bouquets in front of wisteria arch at thorpe garden summer wedding

Write down your non-negotiables

Before you drown in must-haves, write down 3–4 things that genuinely matter to you both. These become your anchors when the planning gets noisy and everyone starts having opinions. A few examples from couples I’ve shot:
A festival-style wedding with camping and live music
Vegan catering that reflects your values
Photos that feel real and candid, not staged
Craft beer over champagne
A venue that lets you do things your way
When a decision comes up, run it past the list. If it doesn’t serve any of your non-negotiables, it’s probably not worth the stress.

Get inspired, but don’t overthink it

Pinterest, Instagram, wedding blogs — go for it. Save everything that catches your eye, even if it feels random. Over time you’ll start spotting patterns: always rustic barns, always colourful flowers, always something a bit unconventional. That’s your taste revealing itself, and it’s more useful than any mood board.

The Best Advice I Can Give You

Figure out what matters most to you both — not what the wedding industry says should matter — and make every decision from there.

The couples I’ve photographed who enjoyed their day the most were the ones who stayed true to what they actually wanted, ignored the noise, and trusted the people they’d booked.

Your photographer will be with you for most of the day. Book someone whose work you love and whose company you’d actually enjoy. The rest tends to follow.

greenwich yacht club wedding photographer london - couple looking over the thames at night in red dress

FAQ

Your Wedding Planning Questions, Answered

The questions every newly engaged couple asks – answered honestly, without the fluff.

Most couples start 12–18 months ahead, but the honest answer is: as soon as you know what kind of wedding you want. Lock in your venue first — everything else follows after.

Have one conversation before you open any planning apps or Pinterest boards. Decide what kind of day you actually want — big or small, formal or relaxed, local or destination. That single decision makes every other choice much easier.

Start with a total number you’re both comfortable with, then divide it roughly: venue and catering take the biggest share, typically 40–50%. Photography, flowers, music and everything else fits around that. Book your non-negotiables first.

Not necessarily. Most couples manage fine without one, especially for smaller or more relaxed weddings. A good venue coordinator and a handful of reliable suppliers can do the same job. A planner is worth considering if you’re doing something complex, destination-based, or genuinely don’t have the time.

Start with your venue capacity, not a guest list. Once you know the space, work backwards. It’s easier to add people than to cut them later.

Look at full wedding galleries, not just highlight images. You want to see how they shoot a whole day — getting ready, ceremony, speeches, dancing. Then meet them. You’ll spend more time with your photographer than almost anyone else on the day, so make sure you’d actually enjoy their company.

A bride and groom stand in front of vibrant pink flowers. Captured in a documentary editorial wedding photography style, the bride laughs joyfully as she holds her bouquet, while the groom in a tuxedo smiles close behind her. Wedding photography pricing available.

Natalie + Henry

“Captured the feeling of the day.“

“When looking for a photographer we wanted someone who could really capture the atmosphere. Dale did just that… we’ve had so many comments saying they can feel the happiness and warm energy just from his photos. He was calm, professional and amazing to have around.”

Camille + Joe

“Like one of the guests, just with a camera!”

“Dale was like one of the guests, just with a couple of cameras. All our guests loved him and commented on how well he blended in. If you’re looking for a documentary style photographer, he’s the man. The photos are brilliant — natural, full of moments we’ll treasure.”

Emily + Robbie

“Over 1,000 photos that captured the whole day.“

“The photos were edited and delivered so quickly, they completely captured the feel of the day. Dale was such a calming presence, never intrusive, and caught so many lovely, candid moments we’d have otherwise missed.”

Anu + Fraser

“Guests are still talking about him.“

“Dale’s calmness instantly put us at ease and made us forget any awkwardness. Communication before the day was amazing, and the photos were delivered so quickly. Our guests loved him — several even asked if he could photograph their events!”

Couple married at Farbridge Wedding Venue

Georgia + Josh

“Stop your search and just book him!“

“Dale has a calm, reassuring presence and fitted in seamlessly — even helping with buttonholes and veils. Ten guests told us how incredible he was, and the photos are the nicest wedding images we’ve ever seen.”

Amy & Stan

“Couldn’t have asked for a better photographer.“

“Dale has such a cool style and put everyone at ease. From months before the wedding he was super helpful, quick to reply and knew our venue inside out so we didn’t have to worry about a thing. On the day he was just a cool dude to have around, and the photos speak for themselves. We couldn’t have asked for more.”

A bride and groom stand together, smiling, on Mermaid Street in Rye, lined with historic buildings and greenery on a sunny day. Captured by a Rye wedding photographer, the scene showcases the charm of an East Sussex wedding venue.

Letty + Aarun

“Captured every moment perfectly.“

“Our wedding photos are more than we could have ever wanted — Dale literally captured every moment. His communication was top notch from the moment we booked, and he completely understood what we were after. So relaxed, blended right in with the day, and worked brilliantly with our videographers. We’ll be forever grateful.”